Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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