After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
