just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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