why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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