I've blown a few things in my day
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
