so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
