I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
