Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
one might say we're banned from that church
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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