Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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