Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
