You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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