there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize