yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
