She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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