Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
