some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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