I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
