so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
