Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you had me at cake vodka
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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