singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
