Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
