The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
