In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
