There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
