That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
