Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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