I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
