she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
