he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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