It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just gargled with NyQuil
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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