her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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