He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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