I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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