sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
