Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I threw up into my coffee this morning.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."

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(313): View more from Michigan

No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.

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(949): View more from California

Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text

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(253): View more from Washington

If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She had a baby Jesus butt plug

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