2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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