It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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