Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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