Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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