Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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