Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol

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(248): View more from Michigan

the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.

Fav 7 2738 757
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(619): View more from California

I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.

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(941): View more from Florida

Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.

(803): View more from South Carolina

I love you

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking

(404): View more from Georgia

God bless your soul.

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