Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize