I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize