Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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