The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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