it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
