THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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