i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
