I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize