I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
