omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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