the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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