Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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