i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
