Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
