belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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