How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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