He uses pillows to masturbate.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
