I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize