playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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