Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize