Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
