i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
