After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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